a life outside the lines

I wonder, at what point do you stop calling yourself a late-bloomer and embrace your life outside the lines? Doing so entails getting square with your choices.

Now I’m not one of those people who will sugar-coat my life. There are some advantages to a solitary life, and in many ways I choose it because I have come to understand just exactly how much time I need alone, which is perhaps more than average. But I would still very much like to be companioned, to have a soft place to land, someone with whom to share thoughts, ideas,  hopes and dreams, meals and my bed (other than the cat, who does a great job of warming it up for me, but still cannot hold a conversation, cook a meal, move the furniture … though he does a mean job of scaring away mice and eating spiders!)

The bravado thing is the hardest part for me to deal with – I just don’t have any buts, as in but I have great friends, a supportive family, my work, my freedom, my dog/cat/garden. And of course, this so-called out of bounds life is becoming more and more of a reality in most countries where birth rates are down and governments must learn to adjust to an aging population and a whole lot of people in the middle generation, as well as younger co-horts who are choosing not to have children.

The reality of my life is that I am over 50, never/not-yet-married, no children, my parents are no longer alive, and though I have close family,  my life is a world apart from theirs and most people I know. I spend most of my time alone, and there are distinct moments when solitude becomes loneliness. Loneliness can derail you if you don’t learn to understand and cope with it.

So, welcome to The Modern Spinster where I hope to demystify this life -- sometimes it'll be fun and frivolous, other times a big dose of sobering food for thought. Ultimately, I hope to provide a whole lot of comfort in recognition. 

Thanks for reading. 

Yours, TMS.